A Threat Among the Stars – Episode 6

The weekly episodes of A Threat Among the Stars have been removed in preparation for the release of the book on Amazon in January 2019.
My Amazon page:
US https://www.amazon.com/Mark-Henwick/e/B008SBO5YK/
UK https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mark-Henwick/e/B008SBO5YK/
DE https://www.amazon.de/Mark-Henwick/e/B008SBO5YK/
FR https://www.amazon.fr/Mark-Henwick/e/B008SBO5YK/
Really enjoying the story so far
Thanks Irene!
I am enjoying the twist but she’ll be fine! Has the Duke come with her? Or Rhos?
That would be telling. š
Sorry I haven’t responded earlier, I have been enjoying this series. I just didn’t have much to say!
Am really looking forward to the continuation of the Amber series though and hope to see the beta version soon!
Thanks for the feedback. I’ll message separately about Inside Straight.
Its been great so far. It took me a bit to take in all that was going on in the first few installments with her cousin. I didn’t pick up what planet we had skipped to i missed it in the title for the chapter. I went back to look and found it. So then it
made more sense.
Thanks for writing such great stories i thoroughly enjoyed all your works so far !!!!!
Thanks for the feedback! I think I need to separate the place from the title a little bit, and perhaps add in the locality, so that opening chapter would be Chapter 1 (then 2 lines breaks, then) ‘Newyan: The hills above the city of Cabezon’ or something like that.
No one has questioned that the last line of Chapter 11 read:
āIām still dreaming,ā I say, and Hwa nods.
On this occasion, I’m not messing with you…
Mwah ha ha ha
oh very nice, evil turn Mark! Way to go ruin all the happy endings š
Hi Mark, I am enjoying the story but don’t have many comments, that’s why I’ve been quieter on this one.
Jumping between the two stories makes it more complex, I’m not having trouble following it, but it’s harder to comment on.
One comment, in the previous installment, when Zara is “dreaming” among the fish people I took me half a chapter to realise this chapter wasn’t about her cousin. It makes sense when you realise what’s happening, it just took me a while.
Very interesting. I originally wrote it so you couldn’t tell which Aguirre it was (or whether it was both of them somehow), but that got very confusing. Obviously, I didn’t clear it up enough! My excuse is it all had to be done (written and edited) in one day.
My standard with dreams/visions in the main books is to put it in italics and present tense. Obviously, couldn’t do that here.
As a matter of interest…
Did you spot that Kat had to be a cousin as soon as Ohana used her full name? Or did you guess when you saw the ‘Zarate’ in the first chapter (the intended first chapter) when Kat is praying?
I was really enjoying it right up until this last installment. I’ll have to see how things play out, but my initial reaction was that Zarate just torched a books worth of relationships for honor, duty and a cousin she barely knows. I found her leaving her ‘daughters’ particularly jarring, as they have each lost one mother already. Again, I’ll wait to see how things play out, but this felt a little forced. Zara needs to end up on Newyan again, let’s try to find a set of circumstances that would make her want to do that.
Just my 2 cents, hope that helps. I thought the pacing and build up to this point were fine, each installment left me excited to read the next one.
Thanks for the feedback.
It’s indeed a difficult sell, and clearly I haven’t delivered it well enough for you.
It’s honor, duty, an oath about family, an obligation on the Name, and the possible eradication of a vast swathe of humanity that makes her decide to return to Newyan to confront the Hajnal directly. Given she believes she will not survive anyway, she seeks to limit the future harm to Bleyd, Rhoswyn and Alexis, out of her love for them.
It’s an impossible position to be put in and difficult dilemma to convey. I guess the rest of the story will justify it or not.
Please keep on it if you’re feeling it doesn’t. I tend to think of every item of feedback ‘there’s a 100 people agreeing with that’.